Tough Mudder

Last year in October, my friends and I decided to do the Rugged Maniac - one of those 5ks that also requires you to slog through mud, climb up large walls, and jump over fire. I'd done the Warrior Dash the year before, so I was fairly well versed in what to expect.

Looking like I know what I'm doing.

After the adrenaline rush wore away, I wanted more. We looked around for other, slightly longer mud runs in the area to no avail. We contemplated creating our own mud run, and quickly scratched that as a terrible idea.

Enter: Tough Mudder. When I signed up back in November, May 31 in 2014 seemed light years away. Now, it's just a bit closer and a bit more terrifying.

From the official website: Tough Mudder events are "hardcore obstacle courses designed to test your all around strength, stamina, mental grit and camaraderie." It's between 10 and 12 miles, and makes the Rugged Maniac look like a nap in the park. One of the easier obstacles is Walk the Plank, a 12 foot drop into water that you're just supposed to, you know, prance up to and leap-of-faith off of like a boss. I mean, what?

This guy.

And then there's the Artic Enema, which is a dumpster full of water. And ice. And they rig it so that you have to get fully submerged, dunk-yer-face style to get through it.

THIS guy.

[Side note: I have a mild case of cold urticaria (side note 2: that picture after the link looks like a still from Girl, Interrupted, amirite?), which essentially means I'm allergic to the cold - or more specifically, when I warm up after being cold. I've never needed my epi-pen (I don't think I even have it anymore), and it usually just affects my fingers and toes if I take a shower after being outside in the winter. But it's annoying, and painful. Ever since I was diagnosed as a kid, I've made certain not to dive headfirst into cold water, so I have no idea if it would significantly affect me. I've certainly never jumped into a dumpster full of ice water. I think I want to keep it that way. Long story short, I will be skipping this obstacle.]

Oh right, and the electroshocks. But only SOME are electrified. So as you run through the wires, trying to dodge them in vain, you have no idea which ones may deal a dose of insta-pain, and which ones are just decoys, mocking you as you sprint through with a look of sheer panic and terror.

This will be me. I will get halfway through unshocked. Then I will freeze in fear of what may lie ahead, hands to head, unable to comprehend how and why I got here. Stuck forever.   

More likely, this will be me. Shocked immediately, on the ground, bawling.

And after all of this, there's also climbing under barbed wire, through muddy tunnels, and over walls more than twice my height. Oh, and because we're running at the Mt. Snow course, there is a special "Glacier Wall." They cheerfully describe this as a "100ft wall of permanent ice! Spend too long here and you will be part of the permafrost!" (exclamation points added by me for emphasis.) The Mt. Snow course is also dubbed one of the hardest of all the courses in the United States.


WHY AM I DOING THIS?

Great question. I guess the answer is, hopefully it will be fun? Right?

To be honest, I do think it will be a blast, IF I can successfully finish it.

I have to:
1. Not get grievously injured at any point during the race. No broken bones or dislocated shoulders.
2. Get some more people to sign up with me! Who's interested/crazy enough! Please? So far I've got my roommate and his co-worker but I'd like another female to even things out. Although a dude would be fine I SUPPOSE. You can help hurtle me over ALL THE THINGS.
3. Be fit enough to handle the distance, the hills, and most of the obstacles.

It's number 3 that I'm worried most about. I have no idea how in shape I'll need to be for this thing. Is what I'm doing enough to get me through it? Is it not even close? I'm really not sure. I know for sure I'll need to get some running under my belt, but I should be able to get that done.

So this is what I'm really training for at this point. Hopefully at the end I will be posting a picture of glory and pride, and not pain and shame. Wish me luck on the training end of things!

POSITIVE THINKING! One can hope.

Current stats and potential progress

In order to make any proper goals, it's helpful to know where you're starting from. Let's go.

Weight:
Ideally, I'd like to take Kelsey's approach and measure body fat percentage. But I'm not sure how to best do that. I don't think my gym has any kind of measuring devices (although I'm 100% just assuming that, seeing as how I've never asked). I know you can get one of those cool scales that electrocutes you or whatever and reads how much body fat you've got, but how much are those? A million dollars. (Again, 100% assumption). And then there are those little pincers that attach to your folds of fat like plastic crabs. I distinctly remember in the fall of senior year, my high school health teacher had us pinch our tricep fat, and in this ominous voice threatened "THERE'LL BE MORE TO PINCH AFTER THE HOLIDAYS!!! HAR HAR HAR." Gonna stay away from the plastic crabs.

Please?

So, barring me purchasing a fancy scale (which, knowing my propensity to throw money into these things, very well could happen), we're just gonna go with what the scale says, in combo with how my jeans fit and where my belt loop's at. Currently I'm at a smooth 151.4, which means I've lost almost exactly 10 pounds from my highest weight in 2013. HEYO! Gotta throw out props to the horrendous stomach bug I had over Christmas, which jumped me under 155. I would not wish that horror on anyone. Hell on earth, with a side of weight loss.

Note on weight: 5+ years ago, I would never have publicly stated my weight, because it can be such a loaded number. But it's just that, a number. Ain't no ell-bees bout to define me. So whatever, I weigh what I weigh.

As far as the cardio side of things, I've been not running for several months now due to a nasty case of runner's knee. I'm working on strengthening my quads and taking care of it, so it's been mostly elliptical and bike for me. However, just today I decided to do a little dreadmill work, and did a run 5 minutes, walk a couple minutes, repeat, for 30 total. And my knee's good! Felt fine during, and feels fine now. I know it's a meager beginning but I'll take it. 

Pull up progress:
To be clear, I'm working on a pull up, not a chin up. Sometimes I use them interchangeably, and that's actually incorrect. Pull ups are with your palms facing away from you, and chin ups are with palms facing towards you. I can do an assisted chin up a lot easier than a pull up (most people can, it uses more of your biceps muscles), but I'm training specifically for this beast at Tough Mudder in May:

And we all know the floor is lava. This chick, for example, is about to die:

Dead.

Monkey bars require more pull up-type movement than chin ups, so that's what I'm doing. Currently, I can do 8 reps with the assisted weight set on 85 pounds. I can do more reps after that, but not another whole set of 8. I'm hoping to move down to 75 pounds by the end of January. I'm just now realizing it's already the 25th, which gives me less than one week. Yeesh. I may need to update this goal.

Abs:
Pinterest always tells me that abs are 80% made in the kitchen and 20% made in the gym. Womp womp.

Still waiting for the recipe.

In addition to eating healthy and working on losing some weight for that 80%, I'm spending the other 20% planking my butt (stomach?) off in the gym. I'm able to hold a front plank on my elbows for a full minute now, but it's the side planks that kill me. I can't seem to do over 30 seconds on those.

How I think I look. How I really look. Side planks be damned.

I'm going to keep working on it. Usually I'll do between 2-6 minutes total for planks, but I'm hoping to get that up to a consistent 6 soon. I'd like to start holding those side planks for a full minute, too.

So that's a general idea of where we're starting from. I'm hoping to get to the gym again tomorrow, but I'm coming down with a cold that's one of those wait-and-see things. I'll either feel fine, or be bed-ridden tomorrow.

Hope y'all have a great weekend!!

Fabletics

After waiting impatiently for a whole 3 days, my Fabletics outfit arrived! I'm a sucker for throwing my money away on workout gear, so I was all on board with this when my awesome co-worker (sup Meredith!) told me about it.

It's one of those subscription sites where you sign up, and then on the first of the month, they email you new suggestions for cool workout outfits you can buy. If you don't do anything, they'll charge your credit card 50 bucks on the tenth day, which you can use towards an outfit credit later on. OR, you can choose to skip the month, and they won't charge you anything. If y'all use ShoeDazzle or JustFAB, you know what I'm talking about.

If you use my referral link, you'll get a full outfit (bottom and top) for only $25, which is 50% off. And I'll get a sweet discount too (yeah, I'm not completely selfless). And THEN, if you don't want to ever be charged, you can just cancel your account completely. Otherwise, you can check out the new outfits on the first of the month, and decide if you want to buy, or skip.

I just got this complete outfit for $25:

And the quality is actually amazing. I hold a fairly high standard for workout clothes, and I wasn't too sure what to expect with these ones. They're created (or endorsed? maybe hand sewn?) by Kate Hudson, so I sort of expected some frou-frou BS fabric where all the large sizes fit as though they're extra smalls. But no! I bought mediums (was considering larges, but went with mediums upon careful inspection of about 80 billion reviews) and they fit perfectly. HOORAY! The tights are great, a nice thick material, and they have a little pocket to boot. The shirt is a light weight dri-fit, and fits well. Overall, I'm very impressed. I am sitting here typing this in my Kate Hudson-approved clothes right now, and I didn't even go to the gym today. I'm just wearing them for the hell of it. Whatever, they're comfortable.

I was hesitant to post this, because I don't want it to come off as USE MY REFERRAL LINK, but really, I'd recommend it. I'm impressed. I'm not even mad!

If you do want to check em out, here it is: http://www.fabletics.com/invite/23907864/. Go wild! Treat yo self! And let me know what you think!

2014: A year of awesome

Welcome to my journey of awesome!

Basically, I've decided to kick some ass and get into really good shape this year. I've also decided to blog about it, because what better motivation than some accountability? It's also a much better way for me to keep track of my progress and set some concrete goals, rather than just trying to store all that info in my brain. Ain't nobody got time for that.

THE WHAT: 
Super general goals: Lose some weight, gain some muscle. Simple as that.
To break it down further:
1. Lose 15 pounds, without losing too much muscle mass.
2. Lose said weight without going insane in the membrane. A healthy relationship with food and healthy eating habits outweigh any weight loss. Woohoo!
3. Be able to maintain said loss. Maintaining is harder than losing, imo. We'll get there when we get there.
4. Have some semblance of some abs. They're there.... just shy. Hiding under some fat.
5. Do an unassisted chin-up by June 1. 

THE WHY:
Well, a number of reasons. I have a bunch of awesome stuff going on this year, and I want to look good and be fit for them. I'm going on a cruise (!!!) in the middle of February (which, dang, is coming up REAL fast), then cosplaying something (dunno what yet) at PAX East in April, then doing Tough Mudder (!!!) in late May, then going to the beach at some point during the summer, and doing summer-y things. Then a very good friend's wedding in September, and then after that, nothing, because at that point the northeast turns into a barren wasteland of snow and despair.

I'd also just like to prove to myself that I can do this, dammit! Chyeah.

THE HOW:
Super general: Work out, eat healthy, eat less.

Breakin it down:
1. Doing 30 minutes of some form of cardio 4 times a week. It's a long cry from my marathon running days, but for now, it's more than what I've been doing in the past few months.
2. Lift weights. Plank. Do some chin ups. Rock out in general.
3. Track my food intake. I do best when I'm actually measuring things out and tracking everything. Neurotic, maybe, but at least to start, it leaves out the guesswork of how much a cup is, and how many calories those crackers are, etc. I'm using My Fitness Pal for this, which works pretty well. 
4. Minimize my weekend pizza/alcohol/junk food intake. I'm not about to cut it out completely but I don't need to go balls to the wall when it comes to downing bacon pizza and chugging beer. Mmmm... bacon pizza.

 
5. Cook more healthy meals. I'm not going paleo or nothin, but I'd like to get some more "real food" in my diet, rather than just Lean Cuisine meals and protein granola bars. I'm subscribed to Cooking Light, which is cool. I'm also subscribed to this thing called the internet. So there's no reason for me to not find some legit recipes to make.

THE WHERE:
At my brand-spankin new (to me) gym, Planet Fitness. Although it's been dubbed the gym franchise that "celebrates mediocrity," (no heavy dumbbells, a barrel of tootsie rolls to dive into on the way out (so far I've managed to decline) and tanning machines), I've found it's got everything I need. No, I don't tan. I'll leave that for Snooki. But I do like me some treadmills, ellipticals, stationary bikes, stretching/ab work area, and weight machines. And TEN dollars a month?? That'll do, pig. That'll do.

Once the weather gets warmer and my knee stops being stupid, I'll take to the great outdoors and actually run again. Since we are permanently in the Arctic here these days, I'll save that for later.

So far this year (as in, the past 2 weeks), I've been doing great. Lost 2 pounds already to bring me to 151. Ideally I'd like to be 135, and I don't mind it being a longer process, so I'm actually expecting things to slow down a bit. I'm aiming for a pound a week or less on average. Next post I'll get more into my current stats and what progress has been made so far.