Tough Mudder

Last year in October, my friends and I decided to do the Rugged Maniac - one of those 5ks that also requires you to slog through mud, climb up large walls, and jump over fire. I'd done the Warrior Dash the year before, so I was fairly well versed in what to expect.

Looking like I know what I'm doing.

After the adrenaline rush wore away, I wanted more. We looked around for other, slightly longer mud runs in the area to no avail. We contemplated creating our own mud run, and quickly scratched that as a terrible idea.

Enter: Tough Mudder. When I signed up back in November, May 31 in 2014 seemed light years away. Now, it's just a bit closer and a bit more terrifying.

From the official website: Tough Mudder events are "hardcore obstacle courses designed to test your all around strength, stamina, mental grit and camaraderie." It's between 10 and 12 miles, and makes the Rugged Maniac look like a nap in the park. One of the easier obstacles is Walk the Plank, a 12 foot drop into water that you're just supposed to, you know, prance up to and leap-of-faith off of like a boss. I mean, what?

This guy.

And then there's the Artic Enema, which is a dumpster full of water. And ice. And they rig it so that you have to get fully submerged, dunk-yer-face style to get through it.

THIS guy.

[Side note: I have a mild case of cold urticaria (side note 2: that picture after the link looks like a still from Girl, Interrupted, amirite?), which essentially means I'm allergic to the cold - or more specifically, when I warm up after being cold. I've never needed my epi-pen (I don't think I even have it anymore), and it usually just affects my fingers and toes if I take a shower after being outside in the winter. But it's annoying, and painful. Ever since I was diagnosed as a kid, I've made certain not to dive headfirst into cold water, so I have no idea if it would significantly affect me. I've certainly never jumped into a dumpster full of ice water. I think I want to keep it that way. Long story short, I will be skipping this obstacle.]

Oh right, and the electroshocks. But only SOME are electrified. So as you run through the wires, trying to dodge them in vain, you have no idea which ones may deal a dose of insta-pain, and which ones are just decoys, mocking you as you sprint through with a look of sheer panic and terror.

This will be me. I will get halfway through unshocked. Then I will freeze in fear of what may lie ahead, hands to head, unable to comprehend how and why I got here. Stuck forever.   

More likely, this will be me. Shocked immediately, on the ground, bawling.

And after all of this, there's also climbing under barbed wire, through muddy tunnels, and over walls more than twice my height. Oh, and because we're running at the Mt. Snow course, there is a special "Glacier Wall." They cheerfully describe this as a "100ft wall of permanent ice! Spend too long here and you will be part of the permafrost!" (exclamation points added by me for emphasis.) The Mt. Snow course is also dubbed one of the hardest of all the courses in the United States.


WHY AM I DOING THIS?

Great question. I guess the answer is, hopefully it will be fun? Right?

To be honest, I do think it will be a blast, IF I can successfully finish it.

I have to:
1. Not get grievously injured at any point during the race. No broken bones or dislocated shoulders.
2. Get some more people to sign up with me! Who's interested/crazy enough! Please? So far I've got my roommate and his co-worker but I'd like another female to even things out. Although a dude would be fine I SUPPOSE. You can help hurtle me over ALL THE THINGS.
3. Be fit enough to handle the distance, the hills, and most of the obstacles.

It's number 3 that I'm worried most about. I have no idea how in shape I'll need to be for this thing. Is what I'm doing enough to get me through it? Is it not even close? I'm really not sure. I know for sure I'll need to get some running under my belt, but I should be able to get that done.

So this is what I'm really training for at this point. Hopefully at the end I will be posting a picture of glory and pride, and not pain and shame. Wish me luck on the training end of things!

POSITIVE THINKING! One can hope.